Should I Tell My Prospects about My Past Fornication? i am 23 and i am going get married by next month. On our weekend away, a couple of skateboarders coasted by, just barely swiping us. Pray to Allah and ask for forgiveness till death. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. And obviously it is haram to be close physically with this boy. Asking about a person's past - Islam Question & Answer And told her to not inform anybody. Is it wrong to desire this trait or virtue from your your future spouse. I had sex with my EX bf bef. Then you could not be accused of lying. They are finding an excuse, why people should be able to take Riba. ?.we should forget about the pastdon't say shame on you.say shame on some men that do everything in their single leaves with so many girl friendsbut for getting married they want virigin wives!! His dog was gone when he awoke from a coma. Your future is his business. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. vaginal intercourse anal intercourse and other forms of sexual activity are seen to as sex e.g. Then just do what Allah Azza Wajal has advice you. If however it was recent, less than a month or you're still involved with the situationyou cannot get married as you are committing Zina. a blood relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden) or a woman who knows her can write down a description, then a trustworthy person can deliver it to one who is seriously considering a marriage proposal. We are not Catholics, who must confess their sins to a priest. No, I don't think so. my basic understanding is that if I've kids, I want a virgin wife, so she can teach them and bring them up with Islamic standardsI'm a man, I work outside the whole day, but if my wife was not a virgin, how would I accept her to bring up my kids with the same Islamic value, Zana is a big thingesp for a Muslim woman. Also it's all depend on the person, if a woman demand a virgin man to be her husband, should we lie about it? How can I be a better Muslim? So, all I can tell you currently is that Riba is HARAAM and is equal to going on a was with Allah, according to an Aayah in the Quran. Something went wrong. Some of these rocks are rough and can still draw blood; others are smoothed by time, rolling around in me, eroding. Brothers and Sisters Later that night, as we were making out, I wondered: Would it be weird now? Its called tough love. I repeat - it is obligatory for you to hide this sin for the rest of your life. Hiding: Its the same as denial, because in a marriage you should tell your partner everthing but not your sins. If you commit a sin then you can ask Allah for forgiveness but you can't disclose your sin to anyone.Its another sin.Its want I heard. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Nothing's coming up. Technically, it is not his business. We were sitting in my dorm when my friend shared the internal struggle she was having about her new Christian boyfriend. Ismail, the problem is not your wife's past but your hate. Before married I will suggest you to consult gynecology and have a check up. Additionally, if she does not lie, I don't think I'll be as upset with her, if I know that during her "Jahaalah (ignorance)" she had sinned. As-salamu alaykum brother. Reason #1: A Muslim cannot be a liar. can he findout out that i m not virgin??? This link goes into specific detail about this issue and how a person who commits Zina invalidates any potential contract until certain things happen: I was tired to lie him alwys .. All d past was coming out by others aftr 1 year and two months of relation I said him he cried .. And left me .. But there is a middle ground between lying and confessing one's past sins that Allah, through His grace, has concealed. People change throughout life and thats constant as life is. They lost really everything. It really does not mean I start complaining to ALLAH for what's happening in my life now. I don't think the context applies, I think the law is the law as stated and the context is just one example of how the law applied. From your reply i can see only see that is dented your ego. Has he cut all ties with his past and his wrong deeds, or not? It's that simple. When You Learn About His (or Her) Sexual Past. I hope this comment is not too late. So if you can accept this then ma-sha-Allah that would make me happy and I will be a good and faithful husband to you, Insha'Allah. These people say, "come to Islam and we will change it to your desires". The teaching of Islam is to conceal one's past sins, not reveal them. Yesterday he found out some random chats which were of 2 years back. They are saying, because you are living in this time and this country and all people are doing this bad sin, you are allowed. c)He or she must leave the act AND ANY ACTS ATTACHED TO IT LIKE LYING, or denying the rights of others, or breaking the marriage contract by concealing something; Certainly my heart goes out to you and I get a sense that you are very sorry, inshallah your path will be made smooth by Allah as we all make mistakes, and I certainly have made my share. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You even asked her. I had sex with my EX bf bef. I think I have covered that part. Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds. Commiting lies to ur husband is a traitor for him. If your husband can not let go of this matter, he needs to seek counsel. Try to ask the whole enviroment. Are you finished? Allaah accepts peoples repentance without their having to confess or expose their sins to any other person. Bad prevails everywhere. You have to distinguish between the one who is actively engaged in such sins and one who you know may have committed some sins of that nature and is no longer involved in them and has become practising. But rumors must be viewed with great attention, because the one who is telling you the rumor could try to destroy the persons life. If you still wish to marry your boyfriend, perhaps you can find someone religious to talk to your parents and explain to them that there are no castes in Islam. If it were very important to me, then I would ask if she had ever been with a man. Yes he will and he will try to take his Hakk. Yeah everybody wants to change the religion after his desires and lifestyles. 2. We all err, right but there some kind of sins that we muslim shouldn't commit, not even get close to it. The same principle applies here and if it weren't true, virginity would have no meaning. As I said in my comment: A Muslim should not reveal his past sins. Sometimes we need to put it down. I am virgin but i understand if my husband wants to hide his past, as long as it does not involve any pregnancies outer marriage. 8. If your partner is pressuring you to keep your relationship secret, it may be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship. So, Qiyaamah is already at the door step. Simply producing a fatwa about hiding what Allah has covered does not justify this advice. I dont remember his exact words. My advice to any woman or man out there is "do unto others as you would have want done to you". This my first tim posting here caz i realy need help and adivce but i feel vry sorry to think tht no one is helping me whn i really need help. Reason #4 This is like cheating. liars are the worst. While there is no confession in Islam, Muslims are not liars, nor do we break contracts or conceal defects. in Islam do I have to confess to my husband about my shameful sexual past? 4. So, be careful. She betrayed you. If she gave me an answer like the one that I mentioned above, then I would probably accept that and not inquire further. I am really sorry to hear your story.I would suggest you to talk to her and try to bring her closer to Allah.she will leave all these activities and will eventually become faithful to you too. But now I know, that I am going to marry a clean wife, which is hopefully a virgin. Throughout those early days, the big question loomed: Should I tell him about my childhood trauma? But take a closer look The choice is not between revealing one's past sins (which a Muslim should not do) or lying. N problem is that i comminted a huge sin with my boyfriend but i love him n intention was to marry each other when we commited sin but now we both regret it ! In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services. If you are 100% sure that he wont know the truth from somewhere else if you don't tell him then save your marriage and don't ever tell him about your past. Betrayal is something people just know, if they have been betrayed. I hid my addictions from my girlfriend but we are both revertingshould I confess to her? How is that scenario sound for you? I was scared of sex, of intimacy, of men. Why it should be a sin to tell, that you arent a virgin now? I tried to built guts n I said him truth Now I repent saying truth bacaus I lost him him. Thank you for your questions and for contacting Ask About Islam. If he wants to leave there isn't much you can do. 2. You would feel cheated and would not go back to that car dealership. ,but I think at that moment her calculations were not well done ,but its because she was all in fear of losing. Moreover, before you get married, you should not keep talking to each other, as if is not your Mahram yet. Yesterday he checked my Facebook account and found out some random chats which were of 2 years back. Is there anything you can do to make him return? I do agree with sister samina in not disclosing her past. That the childhood abuse at my fathers hands left an indelible mark on my skin and my psyche. Later, eating in a restaurant, I wondered: Should I divulge my greatest secret now? and a woman is soft and sensitve by nature .by allah I ask you if a man hides and a wife knows later on then he wont be questioned much.So forgive her and not let shaytan be happy. He has started hating me for that.He made himself distant from me.now we dont have any relationship.I am having a dead marriage. If i was getting married i woukd want to know my future husbands past and what kind of person he has been his whole life and does he regret and repent what his done then i would make a decision based on that. This is not "confession" as confession is voluntary. It's a differnce you will probably encounter in your sex life. If a servant of Allah falls into sin and then sincerely repents, he should have trust and faith in Allah that Allah will accept the repentance. I think for that and other reasons she should be honest upfront. How Should I Deal with My Husband Inquiring about My Past Sins? The best thing that i think should be done is to only state that she is not a virgin but do not give detail of how she lost her virginity. But I say " Take it or leave it." 1. BELIEVE me guys if I were to be her future husband and would have come to know after marriage I would surely without any remorse irrevocably divorce her . 1. Gave me back all d things I gave him V both cried .. You shouldn't disclose your past on him if you seriously regret what you did. But one thing, we all insha-Allah will enter Jannah not by our good deeds but by the Rahmah and Raheem of Allah Azza Wajal. Can you provide examples from Islamic history of husbands or wives confessing their sins? But how could i find out this information without looking into his past?! Please dont judge my lesbian relationship. Each of us will have our own secrets revealed, and we must account for it alone. Whoever reveals to us his wrong action, we apply the prescribed punishments as stated in the Book of Allah against him" . Your perception seems to be accurate, and it is your truth. Each of you will be in the ultimate presence of God, drowning in your own accountability. He should not reveal any specific details about his past mistakes, and he should not be pressured to do so. We studied menus in windows, considered ditching dinner for ice cream and eventually decided on both ice cream first. Astaghfirullahil lazi Ash hadu an La Ilaha Illa Huwa Alaihi Tawakkaltu wa Huwa Rabbul Arshil Azeem I could see that she was a practicing, Allah-fearing Muslimah. Allah may uncover it however by you being honest with your potential husband. M, no. These fears must be borne before you commit such acts. Islam deletes whatever came before, so why should we ask questions that will only embarrass people? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But personally i think it is better to be honest then you feel better too. In short, there will be no communication between you two, and this topic will be irrelevant. How to tell a new partner about your past sexual trauma, A joyful wedding can still make room for grief, To save my relationship, I helped prove my partner once loved someone else. I think those that fornicated, regardless of whether they had financial gain though it, are liable. Afterall Allah(swt) promises this. We are told in Islam that we should not disclose them. However, if you cannot accept this then I understand.". I posted my problm but stil im not reciving any reply or answer. I think the key here hinges on whether it is PAST OR PRESENT. Same with him. For all you know, she may now be more beloved to Allah than a person has never committed such sins. And you will regret it there. Going backward is not the answer. It has his reasons. Your future is his business.". Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns.
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