Back off (put physical distance between you) and say, "That is too much. I am married yet have managed to fall inlove with another, we have not acted on this, but our hugs and kisses are a meshing of two into one, we may not have been intimate physically but when we hug the chemistry is so strong. Oct. 14I am a man, and I cannot apologize for that, but as for hugging, my wife is always near. - Quora. Men only think in the moment and us women take all the hits. Communication is a great factor in the interpretation and understanding in this situation. I think nothing of a hug (assuming an appropriate one). But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. In fact, they are non-questionsmeaning they just aren't asked. Michael, thanks for commenting! While the names are changed to preserve each person's identity, the comments are genuine. But you have to remember, if God hasn't picked this person for you, your lips are on another person's mate. But if the two people that are hugging are in a potential relationship that is going to grow their relationship than the intentions should be alright. WebAnything more than a quick hug is over the line and I'd rip her hair off her head. Continuing, she said, "I wouldn't hold hands with someone who I felt to be 'just a date' or someone I was mildly interested in, or even just plain had a crush on. A friendly hug between a man and a woman won't last very long. Is it permissible to hug the opposite sex while fasting? It all depends on situation. To put it very bluntly, a hug is not a hug if it causes "tightening of pants" in the man. Thanks for commenting! The notion that a hug can ease symptoms of the common cold might seem completely absurd but research suggests otherwise. What are your thoughts on this topic? Hugging your partner in and of itself does not invalidate the fast; we read in Islamic sources that the Prophet used to kiss his wives while fasting. Some of the answers are shocking to me, specially extremist ones like NEVER hug or kiss other person other than your wife/husband. How does one decide? If one person feels bad, it does matter. when the person feel it. But in America not so much. When his wife starts worrying that the hug was more than just a hug. Thanks for responding! Contact Jimmie E. Gates at 601-961-7212 or jgates@gannett.com. That's great! This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. A. This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. A. if the opposite gender is your husband or wife, then it does not break your fast as long as you limit the hug to just a hug and avoid any further physical contact. I agree. Noticed since covid, some just gently bump their fists. The time to make decisions about physical contact is before you get in a touchy situation. That does make you a gentleman AND a caring man! Having sex prior to marriage is immoral and, according to God's Word, we are supposed to "flee sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18). Physical contact that is more intimate than the above is often described as petting. As well, we had resolved that we did not want to feel guilt for anything that we did with or to each other in this area, so we kept away.". Well it depends on several factors.Like 1 The type of touching the body.2 Place of hug.3 Body language during hug.4 Relationship of those both persons. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. For too long in society,women have been glorified as sex objects by men, who often devalue them as an equal partner in life. Chest, groin, arm rubbing can wake a desire that will lead to trouble. Kate, 28, who is married to Luke, wrote: "We didn't hold hands till almost a year after we started dating. It should never occur to a man or woman to kiss someone they are not married to on the mouth. I wouldn't want a man who would walk away from a commitment for me over something like that, because you can be sure he'll turn around and do the same thing to the next woman. Thanks for commenting. The western culture however, has gotten so "loose" that some feel no need for respectul boundaries. http://indy500livestream2015.com/indy-5 tv-access/. As for others who choose to exchange hugs with the opposite sex, that's between them and God. I am a hugger, but very i am very conscious of the intimacy level of what KIND of hug is used on each person. Practical Tips in Preparation for Ramadan. I agreesimple guidelines help us all! 2- If semen (maniy) is emitted because touching, hugging or kissing a non-mahram girl, then the fast is invalidated and one must make up that day. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. As for petting before marriage, Kate wrote: "With exceptions only of his hands on my hair or face and vice versa, we didn't go here. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Some people like to hug a lot, others believe that hugs should be reserved for dating, family, and funerals. Three years ago I found out that two years earlier my husband had an affair with my best friend; and get this: my best friend also just so happened to be my brother's wifeso the affair destroyed my family: my brother hasn't spoken to me or allowed ME to see my two nephews in over 3 years and our holidays are no longer together. In some cultures these things are acceptable between friends. And while it isn't sexual union, it can definitely be sexy. In that case, he might take an embrace as an invitation for intimacies that a woman does not intend, with all that portends. It was good to acknowledge the way we cared for each other with something warmer than a 'Hi.' Nothing changes in society if it is swept under the rug. You and I might should start kissing when we meet though. There are so many situations that would have to be considered. 19952023 All correspondence and questions should be sent to info@ucg.org. Thanks for commenting! it the reaction after the person feel it and the responds that matter. You answered your question yourself to some extent. She said that it was as long as you both understood what that kiss meant. When his pants tent or her panties need a wringing. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. Depending on the type hug, it can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, friendship, or love. Copyright 2023 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners. We limited our kisses to coming and going so that they did not take over our time together, or prevent our growth in communication. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. We are not allowed to hug members of the opposite sex outside of our immediate family members. It does not store any personal data. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Especially young people these days happily hug their opposite-sex friends, or kiss on the cheeks. Sarah K. said, "I think the thing is, the longer two people of the opposite sex hug, the more tendency there would be to kiss. If theres a Group dates with trusted friends can be a very fun way to get to know and spend time with someone you are interested in but with less pressure or temptation. I dunnoas a gentleman, I do not hug any woman that is not my wife, mother, grandmother, sister, or daughter (if I had one). If he didn't meet my qualifications enough to that end, I would remain friends but never make any more physical contact than a hug here or there. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Can a man that lies love a woman he lies to? Do you give someone a hug and a peck out of affection? How cool! Wait a moment and try again. Trust is a delicate thing. Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products, This is a data management platform studying reader behavior. That's a difficult question. This social etiquette used to be taught to young men and women, both at home and school. WebWhat are the tips of starting to hug with a friend of opposite gender? After the first 1.5 seconds of hugging. A friendly hug, in my experience, has consisted of collar bones, or shoulders touching, hands above the lower back and brief duration. Does the the guys arms go over the girls or under? Depending on the type hug, it can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, friendship, or love. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. I agree 100% that a hug and kiss on the neck or mouth is totally inappropriate for any person with whom you are not intimate. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Hopefully things have gotten better since.I think, however, that I can relate to your husband's being uncomfortable with this social situation. Thanks for answering! If so your not a good person. Because I knew his character and because he was aware of what that meant to me, I knew that he wanted to marry me We did have to limit our kisses, because it is fun and intoxicatingmeant to lead to more. The only problem about them going somewhere more private is he was married to someone elseit was in church next to his wife and he kissed the other woman's neck. I couldn't say for sure as far as other peoples standards or per societies rules. Fair enough - then it seems that you've arrived at your answer. I'm completely baffled by your answer. If no semen was emitted, then the fast is still valid. "Love" can be shown with a warm handshake and a smile given to the opposite sex. A hug that is trying to convey feelings other than friendship will last a lot longer. To me a kiss on the neck is intimate and seductive. Excuse me." EXCLUSIVITY.Don't you think a woman would feel even more loved by a man who was NOT UNDER LEGAL COERCION and Financial threat of divorce? WebI do not see any difference between hugging and kissing; it is likely to arouse desire, and therefore should be avoided unless someone knows that he can control himself. Gates asks Gates: To hug or not to hug the opposite sex Jimmie E. Gates Mississippi Clarion Ledger This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. For those dating, it can be exhilaratingactual, real-live, skin-to-skin contact with someone of the opposite sex. It also destroyed my marriage and caused me to begin drinking heavilyand a car accident the night I found out nearly killed meI can tell you that you never can imagine the depth of the pain involved in a betrayal of this magnitude until it happens to you, and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. But you must not shake hands with them with the intention of touching them lustfully. So true! Sexual harassment: Is hugging the opposite sex appropriate? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. So we're supposed to run away from premarital sex and things that could entice us to be immoral. In optional fasts, kissing, hugging, etc. Do you want to feel guilty that you are defiled? WebNo, shaking hands with a person of the opposite gender and/or a non-maram does not break your fast. This was a good decision. Anything more than a quick hug is over the line and I'd rip her hair off her head. We kiss on the cheek or on the mouth, and even then for us we feel these strong emotions. LOL. The whole idea was more of a wondering what people thought kind of thing. Love is what makes the World go round and hugs are a very lovely thing for humans. Perhaps then it is too much. The reason for this being that Allah wants to save us against weaknesses inherent in our own nature. Even though current stats show that the majority of high school students don't have sex, many movies like this present this scene as the norm for young people before they say "I do." Therefore, no one who is fasting should do such things if there is a genuine risk of overstepping the boundaries. If of course the hug is out of control and involves full body contact then perhaps it is more than a HUG in the friendly, loving sense of the world. WebNo, shaking hands with a person of the opposite gender and/or a non-maram does not break your fast. Depending on the type hug, it can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, friendship, or love. I think there's too much overanalyzing here over things that are supposed to be simple. Good day to you, prektjr.dc:I think real "kisses" in such situations are outdated.I can't remember ever actually kissing a woman in such social situations, and instead, it is more of a "I am placing my cheek in close proximity to yours and making a kiss sound while perhaps joining in an awkward semi-hug for a split second.But to actual put lips to skin? They detract from the reward of fasting , and may even spoil the fast altogether so that the fasting person gets nothing from his fast except hunger and thirst. A kiss of any type would tick me off and I'd feel disrespected as the wife. WebSheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: I must say that as Muslims we are not to hug non-mahram members of the opposite sex (i.e., those who are not close relatives) at any time, not just while fasting, for to do so is forbidden by Islam. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. For the most part, Given the growing concern about sexual harassment cases, its wise to stay away from hugging as a way to show you care about your colleagues. A relative stranger..different story. Does hugging the opposite gender break your fast? This is not being jealous it is out of love and commitment for the one you choose to spend your life with.It is always over the line when more than a hug, or a HUG EVEN! In obligatory fasts, one is allowed to kiss or hug his spouse only if one can control oneself. To help decipher what a hug may mean, we spoke In some countires it's normal to hug each other and kiss.As for me I don't think that hug is wrong or bad, but I don't like when people kiss each other on the chick or on the mouth. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. That's what make the people uniquely French.This hugging will be considered inappropriate in a lot of countries.So when do you draw the line? What is the best approach? Does hugging the opposite gender break your fast? Just kidding about the hair, but anything more is just inappropriate. That is probably the best approach! I hugged her back and felt welcomed in the church and loved. Do you want your mate to have been close to sex with lots of others before you? My husband of 12 years may hug my mother and daughter (not his child) and even add a forehead kiss, but it is still a quick squeeze and go. Humans are sensitive, have emotions and feelings linked to their bodies. "We liked to sit close to each other, but it was not until a few months before we were engaged that we sat together with his arm around me. When is a hug more than a hug between a man and a woman who is NOT his wife?If a man hugs a woman in front of his wife, where is the line that it has gone too far? ", Explaining how they first kissed, Kate said, "I had told Luke what a kiss meant to me as we started to grow closer. Kissing can twist things to a new level. That's just a sign of comfort. For those dating, it can be exhilaratingactual, real-live, skin-to-skin contact with someone of the opposite sex. Kissing is in a different category I think.Some would argue, O, well, Aunt Madge kisses me when we hug, well, that too is different. Hugs or kisses or both to someone other than the mate, I insist are off limits totally and should not even be entertained by the beloved. In social gatherings, we hug. Men and women hug each other but mostly if family friends don't hug the women just a handshake and no kisses. Just ask any red-blooded male or female who has had a close encounter with Miss Good Looking or Mr. Hunk. I also feel that there is a sideways If you are speaking about hugging your wife, you should avoid it while fasting. I also feel that there is a sideways quick hug that is better between opposite sexes who are not married rather than a Continuing, she recalled, "I had asked my mother when I was young if it was all right to kiss before you were married. Everytime. A handshake is just as appropriate as a small hug and it often means more. Are there any unspoken rules in this physical exchange? Does it just depend on the woman or on the situation or is it ALWAYS over the line when more than a hug? Web2 days of "and the lord heard me - i have my answers" || nsppd || 6th july 2023 "One thing that both of us learned was that before marriage, if you are pursuing marriage with a person, anything has the potential to be physically exciting and distracting. Hence the fasting person is told most emphatically to avoid sin. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. The point in question is more the kiss on the neck than a mere hug. Can a Doctor Delay Breaking His Fast while in Surgery? Something went wrong. At least I would hope she doesn't .Hugging is an embrace that lets someone know they are important. Okay, getting off my soap box. Don't let feelings control your actions. She might find the man repulsive. I mean, if you can steal a man from his wife, do you truly want him? Physical contact is powerful. First of all, let me start out by saying that my husband has always been really "weird" in this department; he has always been concerned about being "perceived" as doing something wrong so he's not a big hugger; however, I have no problem with the hugs. tehgyb, I agree..anything beyond a hug between a married man and another woman is inappropriate and a brief hug at that. Stay on top of Mississippi news with The Clarion-Ledger app. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". For heaven's sake, don't even think of kissing her neck/ mouth. are permitted so long as one does not engage in sexual intercourse. Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. So put it into practice, and not only will you be happier for it, but God will bless you! I believe a lot of people underestimate the effects of hug, careful. They detract from the reward of fasting , and may even spoil the fast altogether so that the fasting person gets nothing from his fast except hunger and thirst. A married man should only hug women who are relatives.One reason is so he does not hurt his wife, the other reason is to prevent any temptation. You are using an out of date browser. Young, single people should avoid mouth-to-mouth kissing at all costs except maybe just prior to marriage (even then they must be careful to avoid lustful behavior). Great idea! Mississippi has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country. If there is ejaculation, the fast becomes null and therefore making up that day becomes an obligation considering the sacredness of the month of Ramadan. Weighing the cons of sending a weird signal, giving a sense that you don't want to touch them, etc, versus the pros of loving fellowship my vote would be to man up and give that hug, May God Bless You. Young women you hold the power to make young men respect you. This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. But keep in mind that it may appear a bit instructional. Therefore, no one who is fasting should do such things if there is a genuine risk of overstepping the boundaries. "One flesh" means to have sexual intercourse (1 Corinthians 6:16) and, according to God's instructions, this is to take place after a man and woman have been joined together in marriage. WebSheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: I must say that as Muslims we are not to hug non-mahram members of the opposite sex (i.e., those who are not close relatives) at any time, not just while fasting, for to do so is forbidden by Islam. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. You cannot reverse the current 'touch status' you have with someone else (i.e., we've held hands, we've kissed, we've slept together, etc.).". Additionally, in my experience, the position of the face, during the hug, is also important. Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy. Wink! Some people like to hug a lot, others believe that hugs Touching a woman does not break ablution if there is no ejaculation. If there is ejaculation, the fast becomes null and therefore making up that day becomes an obligation The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". WOW! Involve your parents if you can by asking them their opinion and/or letting them know your limits. Human history shows that these "touchy" activities often lead to lustful desire and sex. I LOVE your answers, each and every one! Just ask any red-blooded male or female who has had a close encounter with Miss Good Looking or Mr. Hunk. Try again. I agreeit is sad that some think it won't be noticed. If he doesn't, the marriage has bigger problems than jealousy and hugging. "Don't let physical contact take over or lead in communicationit can feel good and when this happens, you may not know what it meant to either of you in the end Use common sense. We have more divorce and immorality than ever before. Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT. If you had to choose between a man with lots of money but has several woman . Would you date a man who is over 40 years old For Luke and me, hand-holding was a positive thing that physically manifested some of the feelings and ideas that we had already verbalized.". A simple, quick hug and a peck on the forehead of cheek could be okay given the closeness of the "friendship". It gives room for some affection, but closes the gap on overstepping the intimacy boundaries!
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