I think the lying is what creates the lose-lose situation. Here are the importance of virginity in Islam: 1. His girlfriend is not ready to marry in the church or community. Why do you marry a man who has committed zina and hid it from you, you'll know how he felt then. Give Him His Space - If He Wants so. Love her for who she is and enjoy your new marriage. I confronted her she resisted in the beginning then later on confessed after confirming glaring evidences. You have a choice, accept her for who she is and see the good things about her and don't ask about her past anymore as we are not supposed to reveal our sins. You did not state whether the separation was due to finding out she lied to you about her past or not. Divorce, Islam and me: 'I will for ever be the woman who left two He has been cheated and it is difficult to let such things go as when he may go through the act again . Relationships| Exploring Diverse Perspectives on Love and Connection. I feel sorry for your situation. Dear brother Kh.. 02 July, 2021 Q My mom and dad selected a girl without asking me and made my engagement even without informing me when I was 15 years old. Finally I have a faith in Allah's decree. Also, remember how many sins that Allah have forgiven. BTW, I never asked her about her past and didn't dig into it.BUT we both know what had happened. Elaine and I had been married for sixty . I think you need to wait for some years for kids .if you feel she is changed then it's better to forgive n move on but if she continues the old sinfull ways then better to leave her .you just spend more time with her and then decide ..yes you have ended up in complex situation and only time will tell you what to do .till that time avoid having kids ..In most of the marriages people lie and get married because they know after marriage everybody will be in favour of saving marriages ..this is one place where normally telling lies click ..it's unfortunate but true .. Bed is not everything, look at her as a whole person. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Later, due to her insistence, I changed my mind and took her back. I had sexual relations with a cousin without her consent. This can set up a dynamic that can damage her sense of self worth. One such condition is virginity. He probably is also the one who insisted that she get an abortion and murder the child he fathered. I am uncomfortable with her He might not trust her because of Lies as she can tell Lies in future also . However, if you have always been a clean person, never had a haraam relationship in the past, and you kept things clean with your wife prior to marriage, then you have a good question. Those points are all i have in mind now, but there're surly much more things to do. Although the holy book does not specify the number as 72, it does say that those who fight in the way of Allah and are killed will be given a great reward. and wife. Its laughable how every male here seems to be giving compassionate advise (when compared to yours) while you simply berate him as if this brings home bad memories. I am raising money for my asylee friends family! If there is anything like that,, we must, give them the benefit of doubt,, and not consider that she had intercourse with someone else. The Hanafis state that a known virgin woman who indulges in the act of fornication in private (hidden from the court and did not result in any consequential punishment) or who does not make it a part of her habitually repeated routine is a virgin legally. I worry because at this rate, I see myself being forever alone, for numerous reasons. In the life of this world, maintaining a happy Muslim marriage is too challenging to warrant letting the foundation of this sacred institution be shaken by baseless doubts and suspicions, and that too right at its start. For you to understand me more, there were so many things I accepted in her. I remember watching this documentary about this man from Pakistan who raped a young boy, he too said he wanted such a wife, that reads quran etc etc. CNN . Should she tell her fianc that she lost her virginity or should she This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. She also had ex-boyfriends and my brother is worried that she might him and go away one day. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. Have you read the initial post properly? It would be better to quote Bible verses so I can go by the word of God. My wife lied about her past sexual partners. But minimizing the extent of their interactions with others, whether it. Listen to your heart and take a decision like a man. Can I divorce my husband without a valid reason? Take Pride in Your Appearance. Doesn't make sense. Assalamu aleikum, Avoiding conflict & discomfort by telling lies is much easier than facing problems & issues in a relationship. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". These kinds of relationships can drag on for years, with tons of drama. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Yet, you hold him in higher esteem than your wife. It's a lose-lose situation really. May be we are coming from two different cultures or backgrounds . What I pick up from your message is that you and your wife have been fighting. The question is regarding my marriage to a born-again baptized girl. is punishable by hellfire and its easy to understand why so many women discuss sex, shame and guilt in the same sentence. I hope I don't get mauled over for this by you but this is what I feel needed to be said. Instead of finding a partner that is right for her, she is manipulating reality to fit her agenda. What does it take to write a good story? Boyfriend lied about virginity : r/dating_advice - Reddit I'll admit that it is extremely depressing at times, but pay no heed sister. I wonder if I might have waited to have sex with him, safe in the knowledge that we had all the time in the world. that women would go to hell for sure. No, asking such question is not permitted in Islam. Ultimately you will need to seek help from Allah as to what is the right decision now. A Muslim Wife Pleases Her Husband. The most preponderant opinion, however, is that he can nullify the marriage, if the reason of losing virginity is because of sexual intercourse. There are good reasons as to why virginity is very important in Islam that makes sex before and without marriage is a sinful act. We have consummated four years of marriage. Now Both Are in Jail. I Discovered My Wife Was Not a Virgin | About Islam Take care, His wife admitted to not being a virgin on their wedding night What other people lie about is redundant- this is only about those two people & their relationship. That's when I heard a sermon regarding divorce and came to Matthew 5:31-32. She cried and beg me for forgiveness. I wonder if wed be married now, surrounded by a tribe of children. If you're not a chaste person yourself, then forgive me, but subhanAllah, you're a hypocrite in this case, and you should be seeking Allah's forgiveness rather than looking at your wife's fault. I would say it is rare that this starts and ends with ONE lie. The question is regarding my marriage to a born-again baptized girl. What are you going to say on this? Fire and brimstone theology has rarely been conducive to spirituality and faith. It doesn't make her a better woman. And if her general behavior is good and nice, then she deserves to be forgiven. I agree with your reply, no one is angel. Upon knowing her non- virginity during consummation, that's when she admitted having lied to me. How to know if the woman is a virgin or not if not based on the hymen? After 5 years of marriage and two daughters it was wrong from your side to ask her about her sinful past . During our dates, I OPENLY asked about her virginity and she confidently insisted to be VIRGIN and chaste. I have a few questions to ask you. Am seriously comfused and psychologically touched. My late wife died a pious woman. Thirdly, moving ahead from the topic of virginity, this marriage was based on a blatant lie, so the discussion shouldn't even have gone this far. From the intimacy of their bedrooms, Australians talk all things dating with startling honesty and humour. Comes without dilemma and as naturally as the break of dawn. Brother thinking of a divorce is wrong. If your wife had been happy with the other guy, she would have not left him to be with you. The strongest temptation is the temptation of men by women and of women by men. I knew my family wouldnt approve of our marriage, but I was weak. If he discovers the lie, he may feel manipulated & see his partner as a fraud. He lied with good reason, most girls think a 21yo virgin may have something wrong with them, or low confidence atleast. After consummation I felt depressed. I would suggest you deal with this situation as best as you can before you have kids with her. Mother will not let me become a commerical pilot because I am a girl! pls pray to Allah that he bless us with a son next time . The 72 Virgins notion has its origins in the Qur'an. Published July 14, 2008 By Zainab bint Younus The latest buzz in France is about a court case regarding a Muslim couple whose marriage was annulled due to the woman lying about her virginity. I got to know the sister through people who knew me well and said they knew here too. Before you want to educate me, you might want to read ALL of the brothers post. Brother Imad, your words are harsh, this is a marriage we are talking about, forgiveness is better then hating. What happens to a woman who do not bleed in the first time she had intercourse with her husband, can he accuse her of not being a virgin? Where did the Notion of 72 Virgins in Islamic Paradise Come from? Let her know that if she try to show you it was all in ignorance and like it didn't get beyond certain extents, that you will appreciate and benefit from knowing that.
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